You Know You Live in Kinshasa When . . .

10. You need to unplug your fridge to toast a piece of bread.
9. When you meet someone, they ask a series of five questions: "How do you find Congo?", "Are you married?", "How long have you been married?", "Do you have children?", "Why not?"
After this initial greeting, they ask what you do and if you are going to come and work in Kinshasa.
8. You pay $126 for a black and white printer cartridge and $5 a day to your personal staff. (Cost of living here is very expensive because everything is imported from South Africa or Europe. Breakfast = $40, Hotel = $200, Dental floss = $8.50, Housing = $1,500, Potato chips = $8. You can find almost everything you would like to buy, you just need to pay for it.)
7. Just because you have power, it doesn't mean you have water. And if you have both simultaneously, it doesn't mean they will last. Ironically, Congo exports power to Brazzaville, across the Congo River, so the producer of power is often without its own product and its sister city is illuminated. They also export water to other countries in Africa but are often without water themselves.
6. You sweat. 85 degrees with 100% humidity, at night, feels cool.
5. You ask a woman with three dozen eggs balanced on her head where to turn and she points with her mouth.
4 1/2. You have the same haircut as all of your friends because you all go to Steve, the Lebanese stylist, who cut the President's hair for ten years. While you might have the same cut, your color will be different every time because he likes to experiment.
4. You leave for the gym at 6 am to beat the traffic and still get stuck. "Traffic" is an all encompassing term that includes: dodging six foot potholes, coaxing a jeep up a hill while producing clouds of black exhaust, attempting a left turn across three lanes of swerving cars, avoiding trucks piled with bags of rice, goats, and people all strapped in 20 feet in the air, watching mini-van taxis with saran-wrapped windows full of 24 people on benches honk at you. Driving here is indescribable. A full time job includes 10 hours of work and 30 hours of logistics to figure out transportation.
3. Your gym is in an American Embassy. While walking from your car to the gym, you pass through a metal detector, give up your passport, and observe cars being checked for explosives.
2. While the police control traffic, they greet you by name because they know your car. If they don't know you, you lock your door and hope they don't get in your car and demand money.
1. You are welcomed and treated with hospitality. People invite you for lunch, dinner, or tea. They make you clothes. They ask for your email so they can "send a warm greeting to the United States". They appreciate your kindness, energy, and desire to talk with them.

This entry was written by guest blogger, Grace, who has thoroughly enjoyed her stay with her mom and admires Jane's ability to navigate life here, where every day is an adventure. In her words, "It's a good day when I don't get killed or kill someone else."